I joined the gym.

It’s €50 a month which means I physically cannot keep saying “I’ll start next week” because I refuse to waste €50. Yaasss Hunnyy! Plus the two hundred odd quid I’ll be dropping on a coach per month… no excuses now, ha.

I’m not making this into a big dramatic thing. I’m Fat. That’s just the truth. And I don’t want to keep ignoring it or feeling uncomfortable in my own body.

More than anything, I just want to feel strong in my body.

Not smaller for the sake of it. Not chasing some unrealistic version of myself. I just want to feel solid. Capable. Like my body works with me instead of against me.

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I’m Looking for a Coach (And I’m Being Picky)

I’m deciding between an in-person coach and an online coach.

But I’m not rushing into it.

Because I’m in a bigger body, I need someone who has actually worked with someone fat before. Not someone whose entire client list already looks like gym girls.

I need someone who:

• Understands how to train a larger body properly
• Knows joints matter (knees, back, hips — all of it)
• Understands that my starting point is different
• Focuses on building strength, not just making the scale drop
• Doesn’t treat workouts like punishment

And I’m also a single mother.

So I need someone who gets that:

• My time isn’t unlimited
• I can’t train 6 days a week
• Sleep isn’t always perfect
• Life happens

I don’t need “no excuses.”

I need realistic.

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What I Actually Want

If I strip it right back, this is what I want:

• To feel strong in my body
• To build actual muscle
• To do body recomposition properly so I can minimise loose skin
• To lose weight in a way that makes sense
• To be able to run around with my child without feeling wrecked

It’s not about becoming tiny.

It’s about becoming strong.

That’s the part that matters most to me.

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My Coach Checklist

Before I commit, this is what I’m looking for:

✔️ Has worked with larger bodies
✔️ Understands joint safety
✔️ Prioritises strength training
✔️ Knows what body recomposition actually involves
✔️ Understands single-mother life
✔️ Flexible approach
✔️ Not extreme about food
✔️ Good communication

If they don’t tick most of those, it’s a no.

I’m chatting to someone on Wednesday to see if we’re a good fit.

So… wish me luck.

This doesn’t feel dramatic. It just feels like I’m finally taking myself seriously.